


you know how them bottles get me, we gon' have some fun...

by sofarsoperfect



Series: c'mon, strip that down for me, baby [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Strip Club, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, F/F, F/M, all human cast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 02:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12596568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofarsoperfect/pseuds/sofarsoperfect
Summary: “Did you traumatize our friend?” Lance asked, coming into work the next night. Pidge looked at him over her phone, a pop-tart wedged between her teeth. “You left and when we got back, he was barely coherent. What did you do?”“I gave him a great lap dance,” she insisted, and then bit off a chunk of pop-tart. “There may, have been some flirting-”“You stripper flirted!” Lance said, pointing an accusing finger.“You can’t prove anything!”





	you know how them bottles get me, we gon' have some fun...

“I don’t want to be here!” Shiro complained, Hunk, Lance and Keith dragging him into the club. “I know you guys are trying to help, but I want to be at home watching action movies and eating ice cream. I want to grieve my shit relationship like a normal person and not spend the night in a strip club!”

“We’re your friends and this place is great!” Lance insisted, waving at the man running the greeting booth. Coran shook his head at the boys dragging their friend into the club, not bothering to ask or stop them. He knew Lance well enough that even trying was a waste of time and effort. 

“Isn’t it weird to be bringing me into your place of employment on Men’s Night?” Shiro asked, Keith shoving him into a booth right next to the catwalk. There were girls lining up on the stage, swinging their bodies around poles above them already, the tall, thin, blonde one winking at Keith where she was bent over, backward, on one of them. 

“We’re allowed to be in here!” Lance defended himself, waving a hand at the girl running the bar. She rolled her eyes at him, Lance sinking down into the booth with his friends. 

“Get out,” a tall, curvy woman with a soft, dark complexion said walking up on the table. Shiro felt immediately mildly intimidated by her and figured he must have done a pretty excellent job of covering up his shock when Lance stood and just eased an arm around her. 

“Princess, we’re paying patrons tonight, you can’t just kick us out.” She lifted her brows at him. “Okay, we aren’t, but Shiro and Hunk are paying patrons!” Lance insisted, pointing at his friends, Keith raising his hand in a shy wave. “And we did pay for them!” 

“Fine,” Princess said, narrowing her eyes at him. Shiro looked her up and down, noting that Lance must’ve been as much of a veteran at the strip club game as he was claiming since he didn’t so much as flinch. Shiro wasn’t sure he would have as much composure with his arm around a gorgeous lady, half disrobed. A lady, which, he couldn’t be certain if her hair was real or not and suddenly wanted to know her real name. It couldn’t have been Princess.

“I’ll make sure he behaves himself,” Keith promised her. Princess winked and then ducked out from under Lance’s arm. 

“See to it. Pidge will kick your asses,” she said, giving them a pointed look. Lance lifted his hands in mock surrender, Princess turning to go only to pause and turn back to them. “Great timing, by the way. Our show is next,” she said. Lance and Keith both shot her two thumbs up, Lance dropping back down into the booth with them. 

“They have a show?” Hunk asked.

“Pidge, Nyma, Shay and Princess always have the headline show on the Men’s Nights. We’ve never got to see it like this, do you know what song they’re doing?” Keith asked, looking at Lance, who shrugged and smiled at the girl as she set a round of beers down on the table. 

“Thanks, babe,” Lance said, getting a flick to the back of his head for his troubles. Shiro figured the night couldn’t be too bad if this many people were going to be picking on Lance at the same time. 

The opening beats to Bottle Pop by the Pussycat Dolls started pumping over the club speakers, the sounds of Snoop Dogg’s opening verse beating over the top of it. All the other girls were filing off the stage as four shadows were seen behind a curtain, all of them striking a pose. 

“Oh, man,” Keith commented, looking at Lance. “You’re gonna love these girls,” Keith assured Shiro, speaking into his ear under the music. Shiro wasn’t so sure, bringing the bottle to his lips as the curtains pulled back, the shortest one, with auburn hair and wearing a green bodysuit stepped forward to mouth the words. 

Shiro would be lying if he said he wasn’t staring at her, the way she moved, the way her lips formed the words soundlessly. She was, by far, the smallest, the thinnest and the palest. But there was something about her, maybe it was her big, light brown eyes in combination with the smirk on her lips, they way she looked up from under her lashes in a play on coy, a play on everyone’s favorite, lady in the streets but freak in the sheets fantasy. 

“You like her, huh?” Lance asked, leaning across the table while she shimmied her way across the stage. Shiro averted his eyes but that only meant that he missed it when Keith waved a hand to get her attention. Her lips pursed for a second and then she was sliding towards them when all the girls broke up, crawling up on the table. 

When Shiro looked up, he was staring at her, his heart suddenly in his throat. She smirked and stood up properly, her hips swinging as she danced on the table. When she began peeling the outer layer of her body suit off Shiro looked at the others. Hunk was steadily turning a dark shade of red while Keith looked on, appreciative but not embarrassed while Lance made a show of looking bored. She kicked his feet, where they were kicked up on the table and shook her head at him, the girl turning to look at Shiro as she peeled off the last of her body suit, revealing the thin, almost sheer bralette she was wearing and the smooth expanse of milky skin on her stomach. 

She flashed them all one last smile before making the leap onto the stage, pulling Princess into her, the two of them dancing practically on top of each other on the stage. 

“Pidge, always making a nuisance of herself,” Lance jokingly complained. 

“You’re just bitter because her and Princess always make everyone twice as hot as the two of us,” Keith said. “Face it, until we both suddenly have breasts, we’re not even in the competition. The lesbian fantasy is too good,” Keith sighed, watching Princess and Pidge pull each other in like they were gonna kiss and then shying away at the last second. 

“So, who do you think?” Lance asked. 

“You’re not gonna buy him a lap dance, are you? I thought you were more classy than that,” Hunk complained. 

“Excuse me, we work here? What kind of people would we be if we didn’t buy him a lapdance?” Keith asked, leaning over to look at Hunk. “C’mon Shiro, who do you want?”

“Pick Pidge, she’s his type,” Lance said. 

“Okay, I let you drag me here-”

“Kicking and screaming,” Hunk put in. 

“Don’t help them,” Shiro told him. Hunk lifted a hand in surrender, bringing his bottle to his lips. “I put my foot down here. I don’t want a lap dance. I want to go home. Don’t get me wrong, gratuitous nudity, I get the appeal,” Shiro admitted, lifting a hand to wave at the stage. 

The girls had since cleared out and it was back to the normal dancers, the thickly built and curvy one, the one the boys had called Shay was still on stage, though, curling her body around a pole for center stage. There was a steady trickle of the other dancers coming up on the stage, all of them in different states of undress. He got it, he did. Some people liked that kind of stuff after a breakup but that wasn’t Shiro’s style.

“Don’t any of you even think about buying me a lap dance.”

 

“He was cute,” Pidge admitted, sliding the bowl of popcorn over the table towards Allura and Nyma. “But he’s also friends with Keith and Lance so.” 

“Lance is not that bad,” Nyma said, munching on some popcorn. “He’s a little bit of a dipshit, but he’s not that bad.” 

“He keeps trying to compete with us, but he never will. Keith has admitted it, but Lance is just dead set on being better,” Allura said, walking around the table to pull Pidge into her side. “The lesbian fantasy is too good, right, doll?” Allura pointed out, looking at Pidge.

“Right you are, my darling,” Pidge said, pushing herself up on her toes to bump their noses together. Allura took it a step further, grabbing Pidge by the cheeks and smushing their mouths together. Nyma and Ares, another one of the dancers in the back, boo-ed, throwing popcorn at them. 

“Alright, you two,” Coran said, coming in the back room. Allura pulled away from Pidge, the two of them turning to look at him. “Save it for the stage. Pidge, you have a request.” 

“I’m busy,” Pidge groaned, wrapping herself around Allura. 

“Pack up the fantasy and get dressed. They requested your signature,” he told her, handing her the card. Pidge moaned but pulled herself away from Allura to get dressed. 

“Geek gets a surprising amount of boxers tight,” Ares commented, Pidge digging through the clothes to get her things.

“It’s the good girl fantasy. But I swear to God, I get another gropey old guy, I’m gonna lose my shit. I can’t- I just can’t. The money is not that good,” Pidge explained. Allura shook her head at her while Pidge started undressing, pulling on her booty shorts, clipping the suspenders to them. 

“Stop being so sexy,” Allura told her. Pidge glanced over a bare shoulder at her, sparing her a playful glare before shimmying a bandeau bra on, her white button down being slid on over the top of it a second later. Allura grabbed the glasses, handing them to Pidge as she bent over to pull the knee high socks on. “Go get ‘em, killer.” 

“Help me with my shoes,” Pidge said, snagging the glasses from Allura’s outstretched hand. Allura crouched the to tie the sneaker, pressing a soft kiss to her white socks, a red lip print being stained into the fabric. “That’s not obvious or anything,” Pidge said, giving her a look.

“Maybe it’ll make them hot?” Allura suggested. Standing, she wet her thumb and smudged the red lipstick she had left on Pidge’s face off the corner of her lip and instead pulled her in by the collar of the shirt, smacking a perfect lip print to her collarbone. “Make them real hot.”

“Maybe you’re just trying to make me hot,” Pidge challenged her. Allura pulled her in and let her hand snake over her body, pinching her butt.

“Get a room!” Ares complained, Nyma whistling at them at the same time. Pidge pulled away from Allura, winking and headed out of the dressing room. 

She walked down the ramp and out onto the floor, checking the card in her hand on her way. The closer she got, she could hear arguing outside the booth. Rolling her eyes, she waited a moment only for two of her coworkers and their friend to come stumbling out of the booth. She lowered the glasses to look at them over the rims. 

“Hey… Pidge… what’s up?” Lance said, pretending to act casual.

“Are you forcing someone to get a lap dance?” 

“Make him not feel like he’s being forced?” Keith suggested. Pidge rolled her eyes, shoving the card at Keith before pushing the dark purple, velvet curtains open. The man sitting at the booth looked mildly annoyed, his features melting into something approaching alarm when he saw her. Pidge smirked and turned, closing the curtains behind her. 

“Hi,” she said, her voice going soft as she walked up to him. 

“Listen, I didn’t order a lap dance, so I think you’ll understand if I-” he made to stand, only for Pidge to press her hand against his chest, pushing him gently into the seat. He went still, looking from the hand on his chest, traveling up her arm and to her face. Pidge let her hand slide across his chest, curling her fingers over his shoulder and climbed on top of him, seating herself in his lap. He froze completely, staring at her with wide eyes. 

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” She asked, her other hand coming up to his shoulder, both of them sliding up and down his chest and then pressed flat against the seat next to his head. 

“Uh… Shiro,” he admitted, swallowing. “Look, you’re very pretty, and I’m sure I would be very happy to have you in my lap, in any other situation, but I’m just not… not tonight,” he explained. She pushed herself up onto her knees and leaned into him, this angle having her hovering just a little bit taller than him, his face level with her boobs. This usually tended to break men, men stronger than Shiro seemed to be at the moment. 

“Do you not want me?” She asked, widening her eyes innocently. She pitched her voice up a little bit, playing up the innocent, good girl. 

“No, no, I-”

“Then what’s wrong, baby? You can tell me,” she whispered to him. He swallowed again, his face beginning to blush. Pidge knew when she got them, and Shiro was close to breaking. 

“I just- I just got out of a relationship, I didn’t even want to be here. Lance-”

“Lance is kind of mean, sometimes,” she said, rocking forward. Her hips brushed up against his stomach, Pidge noting that it wasn’t a bad feeling. He was smooth there, built and she kind of wanted to do it again, wanted to confirm her last results. So she did and when she glanced down, it did. His hands were tightening into fists at his sides. “I can take care of you, though,” she insisted. She let her hands trail back down, resting on either side of his neck gently. “Close your eyes and let me take care of you.”

“I-”

“Shiro,” she said softly. His grey eyes darted to her face, looking into her eyes. “Trust me. Close those pretty eyes for me.” 

He did and Pidge had him. She reached for his hands, placing them on her hips and settled back in his lap, swiveling her hips and rocking into him. He breathed deeply through his nose, but didn’t react other than that, his hands still resting softly on her sides. 

“Touch me, Shiro. Really touch me,” she said, leaning to let her warm breath ghost over his ear. He shivered underneath her but let his hands move, trailing down over her thighs. He was respectful, didn’t move inwards, just up and down, caressing her bare skin gently. Pidge put her hands over his and moved them off of her, Pidge climbing off of him. 

“Can I-”

“Not yet,” she said, and instead straddle him backwards. This, for some reason, always bothered guys the most, but Shiro still had his eyes closed, so she merely rocked back against him, her ass brushing over the crotch of his pants. He jumped, his hands coming back up to her hips. She smirked, parting her legs to sit properly in his lap, rolling her hips in his lap and resting her hands over his, guiding them. 

“You’re so good to me, Shiro,” she cooed, shifting backwards to rest her back against his chest, moving his hands over her thighs, her stomach, trailing them over her chest. “Most guys just take, I like that you wait for me. It makes me want to give,” she admitted, soft and sultry in his ear, moving his hands over her breasts. His breath hitched a little, Pidge rocking her hips back again. “I wish you knew how hot this is making me.”

“Pidge-”

“You do know my name, then? I feel honored,” she hummed, tipping her head back to rest on his shoulder. Her hands pulled away from his, where they rested on her waist, her hands resting on the seat, creating a soft leverage for her to rock back and forth in his lap. “I like when you say my name.”

“Pidge, I- oh,” he moaned, his hands moving of their own accord now. Pidge turned her head into his neck, breathing warmly over his neck while his hands trailed over her body, down her thighs, up her stomach and then over her breasts, hesitating for a moment before traveling back down, his thumbs catching on her soft nipples under her clothes. 

Pidge pulled away again, climbing back on top of him forwards and curling over him, his hands grabbing for her hips and curving around for her ass. She hummed and trailed a finger down his jaw, catching under his chin. 

“Open those pretty eyes for me, sweetie,” she said. His eyes blinked open to look at her, Pidge smiling at him. “You’re so handsome, you know that, Shiro. That person, they don’t know what they’re missing,” she murmured to him, leaning in to ghost her lips over his ear. “I can only imagine how good you must be. If I wasn’t at work, hm, well. Maybe there would be more to this than just a lap dance.” 

“You tell all your clients that?” Shiro shot back, his voice warm and sweet in her ear. It startled Pidge to hear him come back at all, especially that sharply and with a squeeze of her ass, pushing her crotch into his. 

“I wouldn’t let all my clients fuck me, no,” she admitted. His breath hitched again, his hands pulling away from her. Pidge grabbed his waist, rubbing her crotch up against his before retreating, dragging her body down his. His breath was heavy now, made Pidge feel a little bit giddy as she nosed her way down his body, over his chest and stomach. 

“Pidge, what’re you doing,” he said, unable to do anything but watch. 

“Open your knees for me, babe,” she said, curling her fingers over his knees. He was mesmerized by her, opening his legs on autopilot, only for her to lean in, nosing along the zipper of his jeans, her warm breath making him swallow, her nose dragging over the inseam of his jeans before she pulled away, sitting on her knees in front of him. An image he wasn’t sure he would ever forget. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” she said, her fingers dancing up his thighs, Pidge curling herself over his knees. From this angle, Shiro finally saw the kiss mark on her exposed collarbone, the red lipstick stark against her pale skin, even in the dim booth. He didn’t think he would find that as hot as he did. 

Pidge pulled away then, getting to her feet and walking out of the booth. 

“Oh, holy fuck,” Shiro sighed, throwing an arm over his face while he used the opposite hand, pressing the heel into his crotch. 

 

“How’d it go?” Nyma asked. 

“He was cute. He was really cute,” Pidge could admit, grabbing for the popcorn again. “I may have flirted a little.”

“Flirted, or stripper flirted?” Shay asked, reaching around her for a handful. Pidge looked over and twisted her mouth. 

“Stripper flirted.”

“Bitch-”

“Hey, Allura probably traumatized that 18 year old when he came in last week. I’m allowed to flirt with a guy, a lil bit.”

“How old was he?” Nyma asked, lifting a brow.

“Allura’s age, probably.”

“Vixen.”

“You know it.”

 

“Did you traumatize our friend?” Lance asked, coming into work the next night. Pidge looked at him over her phone, a pop-tart wedged between her teeth. “You left and when we got back, he was barely coherent. What did you do?”

“I gave him a great lap dance,” she insisted, and then bit off a chunk of pop-tart. “There may, have been some flirting-”

“You stripper flirted!” Lance said, pointing an accusing finger.

“You can’t prove anything!” Pidge retorted. “And even if I did, so what? Everyone wants to hear that they’re wanted. I can’t be held responsible for his mental breakdown if something happened. Okay?” She retorted, stepping back and jumping up to sit on the edge of the catwalk as she swallowed.

“He just got out of a relationship, can you not throw yourself at him?” Lance asked, setting his things down. “Have some class!”

“I’m a stripper!” She reminded him. “And he told me that. I asked what was wrong, and I have such a way with men,” Pidge said, fluttering her lashes dramatically, getting a soft scoff from Allura off to the side. “So I pumped up his ego a little bit, breakups are hard. Remember when-”

“Don’t use him as an example, he was shit anyway,” Keith said, letting himself into the conversation. Lance looked over at where his partner was stretching. “He didn’t deserve you and he was a jealous piece of shit because of your job. You almost quit because of him!” 

“I never claimed that dating him a good choice on my part,” Pidge admitted, biting another piece off of her pop-tart. “But my point stands. Everyone wants to feel wanted. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys.”

“We’re strippers, don’t make it sappy,” Lance said. Pidge narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t flirt with our friends.” 

“Don’t order me when you bring your friends in the club!” Pidge shot back. “I know you two did it, he didn’t even want to be there. Order Shay next time.” 

“Don’t offer me up,” Shay said, leaning against a pole. “Unless it’s that cute, dark-skinned one you brought in last night, then you can call me.”

“If we ever need to cheer Hunk up, we’ll give you a call. You do house calls?” Keith asked, readjusting to cross his legs, sitting on the ground.

“For him, maybe?” She said, winking at him. 

“Damn, Shay,” Lance commented.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm a trash human, I KNOW


End file.
